Tomorrow my son will turn one! This means that he has been a part of my life for almost 365 days. This amazing little boy who lights up a room with his smile, who loves music, is very ticklish, has a very relaxed personality and who loves water as much as his big sister. Every day I get to know him a little better. Every day he reveales more of himself. I love seeing him grow and I can’t wait till he masters whatever it is he decides to learn next. My bet is on walking, although saying Daddy shouldn’t take too long either. 

Some days I feel torn between wanting him to hurry up and grow and wanting him to slow down and stay a baby forever. The newborn days seem long gone. Those amazing early skin to skin sessions where it was just him and me and it felt like nothing else mattered. Rubbing my nose on the top of his silky smooth head in the middle of the night. Watching him sleep like only newborns can, so at peace, so totally content. 

Other days when parenting and life get in the way of things, I want him to hurry up. No more waking in the night for a feed. Being able to tell me what he wants. No needing to bring nappies and prams and goodness knows what else. So many things that are still to come. Some good, some perhaps not so, but all part of his development. 

I feel lucky to be allowed to observe his wonderful process that is growing up. I feel lucky to have both my children in my life, that I get to be the Mother of these two. They fill my heart with joy, with love and with happiness. 

So tomorrow I will live in the moment. I won’t hanker for the past, nor look to the future. 

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